How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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