Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
