my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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