My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
