things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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