Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
