dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
