last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
