No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
