i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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