Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Come on in and take your pants off
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