im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
