Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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