i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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