Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
