check it out our google latitudes are spooning
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
