its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
