in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
