Don't make out with my wife yet
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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