he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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