He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize