I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
