After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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