Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
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