Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize