Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
