she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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