so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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