If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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