the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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