No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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