Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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