How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
