Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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