Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.

(310): View more from California

Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar

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(563): View more from Iowa

Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.

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(619): View more from California

my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.

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(952): View more from Minnesota

I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.

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(954): View more from Florida

pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready

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(516): View more from New York

shit i just threw up on a freshman

(1-516): View more from New York

i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..

(516): View more from New York

nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.

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