my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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