it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
