ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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