Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
