I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
