There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I currently don't understand fingers.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
