He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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