I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
