Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize