she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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