You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
this hospital has no fireball
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
