There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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