Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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