i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
