Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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