If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
