Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
