Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
