it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I can't put those talents on a resume
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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