Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
