just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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