shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
