so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
