It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
