she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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