Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
